To rhyme or not to rhyme


Here are two versions of a piece that I wrote recently.
The first one is closer to my immediate thought process- direct and succinct. With the second one, I tried to embellish a little, attempted to rhyme and added a hint of structure.
Here it goes:

Traipsing back
to the point of origin-
the frame of reference…
Regroup, commune,
find stillness,
pay obeisance, if you will !

Cast as a pendulum’s arc
hankering after a utopian freedom-
a refusal to accede…
Then- a circuitous path back to
here- where my world convenes,
in worship, reticent at your feet.

Traipsing back to it, all over, yet again
the frame of reference, the point of origin.
Arrive! Regroup, commune, be still
Gather wits, pay obeisance, if you will.

Cast as the arc of a swinging pendulum
hankering after a utopian freedom.
Struck by wanderlust, a refusal to accede
Thus anew, another journey does proceed.

Circling back to where my world doth convene
coming together, in worship, penitent and serene.
Behold! Here lies, reticent at your feet
My nomadic spirit- triumphant in defeat.

Given that I have no formal training in prose or poetry, this is my amateur attempt at something which is out of my comfort zone. I found that I quite enjoyed the process.
Although, I do wonder as to which version conveys the message best.
Any thoughts?

*Image courtesy of  TempusVolat  CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Claim it!


Have you ever felt as if, in spite of loving something dearly you find yourself unable to admit to doing so?

For a long time, music has been the embodiment of that forbidden desire for me.

I have always cherished the presence of music in my life, be it memories of gleefully stumbling upon certain pieces of music, genres and artists; or moments of tinkering with a musical instrument, finding myself beholden to its dulcet tones.

However much music captivated me, I invariably relegated myself to enjoying it as an appreciative listener. I felt self-conscious about not being able to sing in tune and my proclivity to over think only added to the rationale that if I cannot replicate what I hear, I must not be capable of understanding it. Whilst feeling this disconnect with music on a cerebral level, I continued to be moved by it on a basic emotional level. My attempts to learn the harmonium and the guitar in childhood were not terribly successful either. A couple of heartless remarks from teachers further internalized my belief that I could not be musical and sure enough, I eventually abandoned all efforts to pursue music.

So the years rolled along for me in the musical twilight zone until much later in life when my kids started taking piano lessons; and I found myself sitting in on their classes, hearing the lilt beckoning me once more, feeling the desire rekindle inside of me. These furtive trysts with the piano continued until the day that I finally worked up the nerve to scour for teachers who would be willing to teach a beginner adult like me. Luckily, I found a good match and proceeded to show up nervously for my first lesson.

4173281555_d97dcc86d1_qTwo years have passed since, and looking back now, I do not regret having taken that plunge. The delight of learning a new language of musical notation, practicing scales on the piano, reading up on music theory and history and playing classical and folk music pieces is quietly fulfilling for me. I love the time spent on the instrument and find that it has enriched my enjoyment of music as a listener as well. I like being able to relate to my kids through this musical education.
I admit that I am not always diligent about practicing and those weeks that I slip up, I feel like a truant kid in class. However, the encouraging irreverence of my teacher and his constant reminders of how ‘this is a hobby for you,do not subject it to perfectionism’ provide the impetus to plow ahead.

This journey of coming back to music has been strangely liberating for me –

  • It has helped me get over the fixed mindset that our ‘talents’ are set in stone. Boxing and labeling ourselves into categories of haves and have-nots thwarts any possibility of real growth.
  • I realized that sometimes the very things that unnerve us are what we need to pursue the most. Also, it may take a few false starts before the engine gets going!
  • It brought me back to a beginner’s frame of mind- focussing on the learning process and not so much on my self-image or the social persona that I inhabit. It has grounded me to the moment- the present.
  • It has reinforced the lesson that what matters crucially is showing up at the instrument every single time- the joy and the craft will follow accordingly.
  • I am thankful for the exciting yet nerve-racking experiences of playing for an audience of co-students, most of whom are much further along in their musical journey than I am. I found that the kinship of pursuing similar interests is much more powerful than the fears of being judged are.
  • It has made me deeply appreciative of teachers who encourage the pursuit of the arts for its own sake and not necessarily as a competitive skills game.

I am happy that I was able to break free from the shackles of preconceived notions about myself and could reach out to this abundant treasure that had been mine for the taking all this while. I had just needed to step up and claim it.

So here I am now, in my late thirties, finally admitting to how much I love music and love learning to play it. I still cannot sing in tune but am learning to not care so much about that.
Yes, I am a beginner- almost intermediate- piano player.
There, I have laid my claim to that.

*Image 1 courtesy of Mechanism of melody by art_you , CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
*Image 2 courtesy of Musical Notes by Epic Fireworks , CC BY 2.0

Spaces in between

Let there be
spaces in between our togetherness
where we may exist safely as you and I.
Let there be
a leap of faith between
our individual reveries of love and true beliefs.
Let there be
a commitment that forever persists,
bridging the distance between differing minds.
Let there be
a resilient devotion to the sanctity
of this quest for a communion of our souls.
Let there be
spaces in between our companionship
where love perseveres in spite of us.